How are you feeling Fi? We've just passed the 38th anniversary of the aggressive military invasion of my peaceful home. I think we've established in my blog that the invasion, and indeed the whole war, messed with my head. How am I feeling? Surprisingly good!
For the first time ever, I have been able to think about my war experiences for as much or as little as I want and then stop. Yes I really can! Those memories are all still there, but they're not as heavy and raw and painful as they used to be. They aren't overwhelming. They don't make me cry any more. They don't cause me to clam up, change the subject, walk away. The difference is entirely due to months and months of very hard work in trauma therapy sessions and during the time between sessions.
I have now faced the very worst parts of my war stories. I've looked at them in great detail from every angle and have learned from them. What happened to me was wrong, it wasn't my fault, it was a long time ago and I'm a survivor who is thriving. How does this help me with the current Corona Quarantine situation? Much in every way. Many of the feelings and emotions experienced during lockdown: threat, fear abandonment, various anxieties etc. are so very similar to those that I felt during my tough times. Working on them with Sam during these past months has set me up nicely. Can I tell you a secret? I'm loving having so much thinking time available and am rediscovering the joy of being lost in a good book.
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