The therapy where I tell my stories over and over again seems to be hitting the spot. It is very hard work though! I've had two storytelling sessions so far, this is what happens:
Led by a very patient, calm and good listening therapist I:
A: identify a traumatic incident. When it happened, how long it lasted and where I was was at the time.
B; Then I imagine going to the start of that incident. The starting point is that moment just before the upsetting event began. C: Once at the starting point I close my eyes, and then silently imagine moving through the incident until it is over. D: Tell the story out loud using words. E: Repeat the process of going back to the beginning of the incident, moving through it in my mind to the end and then reporting what happened using words. In my most recent session, I told a horrible story, using this method, 11 times.
All the while the super robust therapist just sat quietly listening, making the occasional note, guiding me through the process. This particular story started in October 2016 with a Flashback of an event which actually happened on 2nd April 1982. The day Argentina invaded our beautiful Island home and were fighting on the streets around my house. Before the flashback I had no recollection of the event. I have this thing called Dissociative Amnesia, the trauma of the event caused me to disconnect myself from it and forget. But not totally forget and not in a good way. The memories are still back there somewhere, waiting to be processed and put in a calmer part of my brain. I think of this as an over full in-tray at work. It often falls over spilling the papers that still need to be processed. They are the flashbacks and intrusive memories. During the months since that flashback and especially as I told my story over and over again, many many more details have come to mind. By the end of the storytelling I had a hugely long and very complex story.
I experienced a range of emotions. I cried heaps. Even seeing the washing line empty on such a sunny day was upsetting because it was so unusual.
Anger at seeing Argentines driving on our streets. Warships in Port William. So many unfamiliar planes and helicopters at our airport and in the sky. (See picture)
As I remembered the incident I felt some of the same fear that I felt on the day. My legs were feeling weak and wobbly.
As I told and retold my story these feelings and sensations started to change, and the incident became less disturbing and horrible.
Thinking about it now doesn't make me cry or feel angry.
It was a traumatic memory that has been re-filed in my mind as a horrible memory that I am much more comfortable with.
I worked hard during that session - it lasted 3 hours!
Afterwards I felt lighter, peaceful, tried. My mind was not stirred up or at all restless as it could previously have been from talking about that story. The therapy has left me in a good place.
As I was telling the story I made a connection between the story and a recurring nightmare.
Since telling the story that nightmare hasn't happened!
The next day and since I have continued to feel at peace with this story and am looking forward to getting the rest of them processed in this powerful way.
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