This week I've been surprised by laughter - from me!
Carrying all those bad memories around for decades left me feeling big time gloomy. Hardly surprising really, living through a war and a bunch of other nasties is truly horrible. There has been just too much old baggage blocking my humour receptors.
I've not been big on laughing for as long as I can remember. The whole room can be falling around in hilarity and I barely fake a smile. Funny stuff has rarely connected with me on a deep level. Catching a giggle or a snigger from another person wasn't something I could easily do.
Until now.
That would be since my last therapy session when we dug right to the roots of this long-term gloom.
Amazingly, after my session, I didn't have a "Therapy Hangover" (see earlier blog for explanation). No panic, shock and all that usual stuff.
Just calm.
And tried. I was so very tired.
I've been kept busy since, there has been plenty to think about. Learning about how the horrible incidents and gloom were connected. All to be soaked up and applied.
And now:
The Gloom has been seen for what it is: old news and it has gone. The cloud has moved away. Yes really. Not a hint of it left.
I've been continually surprised by finding myself laughing, singing, smiling. I love it.
My laugh sounds nice. I never knew or dreamed that this could ever happen to me. I thought I would forever be a frozen person.
Ladies and gentlemen, the thaw has begun and it is so, so good!
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